I'll Have a Mr. Palmer

By Steve Politi/Star Ledger Columnist
Master's 2013: How does Arnold Palmer order an Arnold Palmer?

The usual crowd at the putting green at Augusta National had turned to face the wrong direction, toward the outdoor dining area adjacent to the old clubhouse. Usually, this is a sign that golf royalty is nearby.

And, sure enough, there he was: Arnold Palmer, the four-time Masters winner, wearing in his green jacket and looking over a menu that he has probably seen a thousand times. He already has his beverage.

He is drinking an Arnold Palmer.

We will have a full week to debate questions pertaining to this tournament. Will Tiger Woods finally break his major slump? Will Phil Mickelson cash in on a fourth Masters victory? Can Rory McIlroy, who imploded spectacularly here two years ago, tame the famous course?

For now, though, let's get this one out of the way: How does Arnold Palmer order an Arnold Palmer?

It has to be a bit awkward, right? Does he tell the waitress, "I'll have a me?" Does he just expect that she'll know, because of who he is. That could lead to an awkward moment if, for a change of pace, he'd like a Dr. Pepper.

Really, few people in history have this problem. Sam Adams, the patriot, was long dead when Sam Adams, the beer, hit the market in 1985. No one is sure if Harvey Wallbanger was an actual bar patron -- a Manhattan Beach surfer, according to Wikipedia -- or just a legend. Shirley Temple might have had this issue, but that "cocktail" was invented for her because she was too young to drink. Did she keep drinking it into adulthood?

Those are mysteries that I cannot answer now. But I can solve one puzzle, at least. I chased Kelsey, the waitress serving Arnold Palmer yesterday, back to the bar where she was putting in another drink order.

"How did Arnie order his drink?"

"He leaned over and said, 'I'll have a Mr. Palmer.' Then he winked," Kesley said.

Of course he did.